This was not Gerald’s first time facing the consequences of drinking and driving. It was a pattern that had followed him for years. This time, he had also left his mother on the outside carrying the bills and taking care of the home he could no longer take care of himself.
So, Gerald spent some of that time alone.
And he started writing.
In a journal, he began putting down what he planned to do when he came home.
That moment came years after a life in California where alcohol, violence, and instability had become so familiar that Gerald barely recognized how much they had shaped him.
Gerald is originally from Stockton, California. In 2009, he owned a clothing store there. The store had become the scene of several violent incidents. It was shot up, and Gerald’s brother was shot inside.
Even after that, Gerald could not immediately walk away. He still had months remaining on his lease. With the recession hurting business, the store was struggling financially. When his landlord eventually allowed him out of the lease, Gerald moved to Las Vegas.
He changed cities. His habits came with him.
“My mentality that I had, I felt like I was still in California,” Gerald said. “I’m drinking and driving and, you know, doing my everyday thing that I did out there.”
He describes drinking while driving as something that had become normal in his life. That continued in Las Vegas until another DUI sent him to prison for one to three years.
After his release, parts of Gerald’s life seemed to settle.
He got married. He bought a house. He went about eight years without another DUI arrest.
But one thing had not changed.
He was still drinking and driving.
“I was doing everything I was supposed to do, but I was still drinking and driving,” he said. “Just luckily I lasted that long.”
Eventually, Gerald received another DUI, his third on record. He fought the case for roughly three years and went to trial. He lost.
The sentence was four to fifteen years.
Gerald served time at several Nevada facilities before reaching Casa Grande. It was there that he entered HOPE for Prisoners.
The experience forced him to look at something deeper than the behavior that kept bringing him back to prison.
Gerald had been through programs before. He spent time at Delancey Street in San Francisco, which he described as structured and consistent. But in Gerald’s view, it had never reached the heart of his alcohol problem.
HOPE felt different.
Classes such as Healing the Trauma and anger management pushed Gerald into places he had spent years avoiding.
“It makes you dig deep,” he said.
At first, even the idea of trauma did not seem to fit his own life.
“I never really can think that I had trauma in my life, but I’ve been shot three times,” Gerald said. “And I think with the trauma, I had so much to where it’s numb to me.”
What had once seemed normal began to look different without alcohol.
“Now since I don’t drink, I can get emotional about certain things, and I think with alcohol, it would hide that,” he said.
That realization says much about Gerald’s change.
His story did not turn because someone erased his past. Gerald began examining it.
He completed his Healing the Trauma classes while still at Casa Grande and continued working through anger management after returning home.
Gerald has now been home for about fourteen months. He remains on house arrest after being denied parole and is unable to return before the parole board for another two and a half years.
So, what does he do with the freedom he does have?
“Working,” Gerald said. “That’s all I can do.”
HOPE helped Gerald connect with a job at Binion’s Steakhouse, where he is working today. But Gerald is also beginning to think beyond his own employment.
He wants to open a sober living home.
“I want to get a sober living home,” he said. “That way it’ll keep me grounded, keep me focused, and I can give back, help other people.”
The idea is still in its early stages. Gerald has connected with a mentor and is working on a budget. He has also been approved for a home loan, though he knows finding the right property may be difficult.
There is no polished ending to Gerald’s story yet.
He is still on house arrest. He is still building. Still working. Still figuring out what comes next.
His family carries its own pain. Gerald is no longer married. His children are grown and live in California. He has lost one child. Another is serving a sentence in prison. He remains connected with his other children.
Gerald knows what it is to live with consequences that cannot simply be erased.
He also knows that change asks something from the person seeking it.
When asked what he would tell someone coming into HOPE for Prisoners who was unsure whether to commit to the program, Gerald did not offer an easy promise.
His answer was simple.
“Just give HOPE a try,” he said. “It works. But you got to be ready.”
Then he added the part that may say the most about how Gerald sees his life today.
“You can’t be straddling the fence.”
